I am a LOSER !! Life SUCKS !! Y?? Wat shud i do ?

I used to be a nerd wen i ws a kid n i never managed to make any friends then til now . Then i strtd not studying n evenrually by the time i finished +2 i gt jus 62% A drop from being always above 90% . I guess i wanted to be something or cool i dono . School life sucked . I am a natural at avoiding making friends maybe its because i try to b cool nowadays n look 4 cool friends . College too sucked . Sad years all throughout my life . I sometimes wish i could just disapear to canada or something . Be at peace n live a very simple n maybe lonely life . My fathers is a severe alcoholic n my mom is too caring . My dads not a bad person , never hurt us or anything just got addicted to alcolhol .Im now 21 n hav finished my coll .Wherever i go i suck , im looked upon as the worlds biggest n only idiot . My family is full of achievers , i mean every1 of my uncles n cousins r just too COOL n HAPPENING . I dont/cant dance wenevr thr is a family party which is a pretty big event . Im took a job n even thr i suck among the employees .Noone thinks im cool . Im not stupid or retarded . I am a wreck . I hate my life n my confidence never existed . Dono wat the diff. is between living like this or being dead . Just tel me wat i should do to have a life , b happy 4 once . I sometimes hav dreams of gtn a sexy salary job n a perfect girlfriend . Im not a geek now now . I got style n pretty decent looks bt just cant tlk . I simply avoid things . Pleeeaaase HELP , ADVICE ???